You might think I'm referring to the bottle of pinot grigio that I enjoyed yesterday while the sleet pattered against my windows and I was inside being toasty warm and baking ginger cookies. Well, yes, maybe I am. It was a very nice wine. But I mean just in general. I enhanced my festive state further by putting up some holiday decorations. I managed to snurch a couple of twiggy arrangements from work that had been done by the guy who does the flower arrangements for the lobby and so forth. It's a couple of bundles of white branches tied up with silver ribbons and decorated with little silver balls. While I'm not usually in favor of the all-white look, they were free and the little shiny silver bits brightened them up. I also took the box of leftover little shiny silver bits and stuck them around here and there. I also scattered my little nutcrackers around.
The best part was I figured out that I could put my little lights out along my balcony railing and plug them in inside. Closing the door on them doesn't do any damage.
So I was feeling pretty darn festive yesterday. Then I remembered that nobody comes to my house for Christmas and nobody is giving me any presents, except my son Brian who's buying me a new teakettle. Okay, to be fair, I am going to someone else's house for Christmas dinner and then on Boxing Day I'm going to some friends' house down at the shore (yes, it's New Jersey where they have shore, NOT beach). None of that should matter because I'm not Christian anyway and in fact I don't even believe in god. But it does matter a little when there's the whole enforced festivity thing going on. But considering how broke I am, I guess it's a good thing I don't have anyone except Brian to buy a gift for. And he's 20 and not very demanding.
It's just that, with all the hype and mandatory jollity, no matter what you come up with, it's usually going to be a letdown on some level. So I'm wondering, how many other people feel that their holidays somehow don't measure up to expectations.
3 comments:
Poor Writegirl. Don't be so down. I'm not a Christian, I'm broke, and I'm alone. But you know none of that matters 'cause I'm alive and healthy. So everyday should be a merry fucking Christmas. :)
I look at the holidays as a thing to brighten up the darkest part of the year with some festivities, no matter if you are religious or not. It is no accident that almost every type of religion has some sort of event around the solstice. Make a warm and cozy nest and do some more pleasurable things like drink wine and bake cookies while the weather fruitlessly screeches outside your windows.
Our 12/25 likely will not be a big deal this year. We still don't have a plan. But we can still enjoy the four day weekend and laze around the house eating decadent treats and drink as much as we want!
Even if it is just you and your son, just enjoy the day together.
Actually my son will be with his father on Christmas. But don't worry, my holiday will be happy enough. I will probably go over sometime in the morning for a cup of coffee and a croissant. Or a bagel. Or whatever sort of baked goods are available. It will be a jolly little Christmas brunch.
Then I'm going to dinner at a friend's, where the Christmas cheer will be flowing like a veritable river. Many glasses' worth will be consumed. She's even cooking a goose. Fortunately, not mine. :)
I love the notion of a solstice holiday. It's a real, actual event to celebrate. It effects everyone on the planet. And it means that the days are getting longer, which is a very nice thing.
I'm not really down, just bemused. I think it's also no accident that so many people have emotional crises this time of year. Of course that might have to do with the lack of sunlight as well. Nutty little planet we live on.
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