Quantum of Sadness

My camera broke! My cute little Canon companion! I turned it on the other day to catch some pics of the wonderful November sky and the screen flickered and broke up into lines and then went black. (Sigh...remember the days when cameras didn't need to be turned on? They just worked.) Anyway, I changed the batteries, even though I was fairly sure this wasn't the problem. And I was right. The only thing I can think of was that it fell from the table to the floor. But it was ensconced in its nice cushiony case and it fell onto a soft rug. It was not a big clunk but more of a little plop. And I'm not sure but I think I may have used it after that. Well, whatever the cause, it's non-functional. I don't know if they bother to fix these guys or will just tell me to get a new one. Well guess what, I don't have a spare $200 to replace it now. Not fair.

Death Star Canteen

I'll have the penne alla arrabiata, please.

It Was A Glorious Night

It's taken me a couple of days to reflect on Tuesday before being able to put it in perspective. No, I'm not a ga-ga zealot, but having been through a good few presidential elections, I can say that this one really felt different. I don't remember ever misting up and shedding a few tears at the outcome before. I don't remember being among crowds of strangers who were all so universally transported with jubilation. Okay, so I live in the bluest part of a traditionally blue state but this was different. It wasn't just the satisfaction of "our guy" winning. It was the shedding of a great weight. It was the definitive marking of a change in thinking. Suddenly I felt safer, personally and as part of a nation.

I spent Tuesday evening in a bar of random choice with a friend who only moved to this country about 6 years ago. I'm pretty jaded a lot of the time but I was really proud to be with him to see America at its best. By the time we left the bar at 12:15 or so, we were best friends with everyone in there. It was better than watching the 7th game of the World Series in there. Even though things pretty much suck in so many ways right now, at that moment life was as good as it gets.

Yummy Halloween

I seem to be on a cupcake binge lately. But what the hell. These little guys were my Halloween creations. Reviews indicate they were a big hit. What's next? Maybe turkey cupcakes. I mean cupcakes with little turkeys on them, not turkey-flavored.

And yes, my iPhoto is working again. And it didn't cost me anything! My friend's husband offered to see what he could do. As it turned out, he could do everything that needed to be done. All apps are back up and running. What can I say, I'm thrilled. Especially about the free part. I promised him (them) brunch in payment, which was happily accepted. Some days, not everything is crap. Some days things work out okay.

Happy Shiny Clean Birthday to me!

It's my birthday today and I am celebrating by taking today (and tomorrow) off from work. My agenda for today is very full:

1) make french toast for breakfast (done)

2) clean the bathroom and scrub the soap scum off the tub walls (done)

3) spend some time ambling aimlessly around the internet (in the process)

4) take my laptop in to get the damn iPhoto fixed

5) go to the dermatologist and see what this strange irritation on my lip is all about

6) go running

7) make cupcakes

8) enjoy said cupcakes along with some champagne and a few of my best buds

Like I said, this is a very ambitious agenda but the reward at the end should provide enough incentive.

I love my Mac, but...

Every time I open my Powerbook G4 and turn it on, I think, "this is the sexiest computer anywhere." You can't dispute that. I had PC's for years and never did I ever think, "wow, I love my computer." There are so many things I absolutely adore about my Mac. One of the most important for me (because I write so much) is the touch of the keyboard. I tried for years to find a PC that had the same touch but was never able to. And then there's all the other neat, intuitive stuff it does. HOWEVER...of late my dear little Powerbook has developed a few quirks and glitches that are really starting to piss me off. For instance, my iPhoto won't open any more. The consensus is, there's a corrupt file in there, but I can't get to it to remove it. Then there's the whole browser issue. For some weird reason, my Firefox disappeared and refuses to launch any more. And Safari has a whole buttload of issues. One big one is that a lot of the functions on Blogger aren't functional through Safari. So I can't embed video clips and stuff in here. I'm thinking it's time for a brainwashing. Time to take this puppy in for servicing. I'm wincing in advance, though, because my extended warranty ran out over a year ago. So I'm probably looking at $150 or $200 to get it back into shape. Of course that's a whole lot less than a new computer, isn't it? Sigh. I wish this techno revolution would be over already and they started building these things to last for 10 years. Or at least offer longer warranties.

My Good Deed of the Week

Yesterday I participated in an activity that pretty much everyone would say was a commendable thing to do. I was in the annual walk against breast cancer that takes place in the city. There were probably about 50,000 other people who did it too so that in itself was not so unusual. A co-worker whose aunt and grandma had breast cancer organized the team. It's a very personal cause for her. I love to walk and I figured I could help raise a few bucks so I signed on. I did in fact raise $100, not much but still worthwhile. But here's where I get to the part that confuses me. The way the event was set up, it wasn't a "thon" type of thing where people pledge so much per mile, or whatever. We were just soliciting donations and then we were walking in this non-competitive event. It really was just a walk in the park. In fact, it really wouldn't have mattered whether I walked or not. I can understand cancer survivors and their families walking - there's a whole emotional and spiritual component to it for them. But for the rest of us, the walk was really beside the point. Okay, it was a nice communal event, but I didn't speak to anyone other than the folks on my team. And I hate team spirit, so the cheerleaders along the side of the road jumping up and down and waving their pompoms didn't do anything for me. And I especially hated all the over-caffeinated volunteers who would scream encouragement in my ear as I walked by. Seriously, I thought I was going to bust an eardrum. I'm not really a scrooge, truly I'm not. And I was very happy to be able to raise a little money to help find a cure for breast cancer. But I still don't understand the walk thing. However, directly after it was finished, I met a friend for brunch and downed a few mimosas without feeling the least bit guilty.

Jury Duty, Part II

After a sextuple-murder case, pretty much anything else is gonna seem like small potatoes. We all got called in for selection on an assault case which seemed to involve a bunch of drunk guys at 4:30 in the morning. Apparently one guy was being chased or threatened by several other guys and he took a baseball bat to somebody's head, or other body part. It all seemed to boil down to a he-said-he-said. I didn't even get called into the jury box before they picked enough people. At that point it was 5:05 on the Friday before a 3-day weekend and the judge just excused us all. I have now gotten called for jury duty three times and have never been picked to serve on a jury. However, I can hold my head high knowing I fulfilled my civic duty. It's kind of like getting a colonoscopy I guess -- you don't really want to do it but you know you should, and after it's done you're relieved cause you know you don't have to do it again for a long time.

Hey, it's just like Law and Order -- only real!

The jurors filed slowly into the courtroom, looking around as they moved up the center aisle. Fill this row, then that row, then this one...until they were all seated. The men at the lawyers' tables looked them over, sizing them up, like lions deciding which wildebeests to cut out of the herd. Then the judge addressed the filled courtroom.

"The case before us is a murder case. There are actually six separate indictments for six separate murders. The prosecutors will allege that the defendant committed these six murders at six separate times. Five of these were murders for hire; the other murder was committed in the course of a robbery."

And I'm thinking "ooh, this is just like Law and Order, only I'm not watching it on TV, I'm sitting in the courtroom! The judge is talking to me (along with about 80 or so other people). But then he got to the part where he said that since it's such a complex case, he expected it to last at least 20 trial days, spread out over the period of about 6 weeks or so. And since it would so long, anyone who would not be able to commit that much time could excuse themselves. Sadly I got up and left the courtroom. So did lots of other people. But a whole bunch stayed. Didn't any of the work, I wondered. But for whatever reasons, they got the chance to be on the jury of that very cool case. The rest of us went back to the jury room. But no more cases were coming down yesterday so we all got excused by noon.

Normally it would be three days in a row. But today is the Jewish holiday, so we didn't go in. And then Monday is Columbus Day so there's no court then. So my three days are being spread out over almost a week. Of course if I get picked on a jury, it will be longer. But there's no chance that there will be another case as interesting as yesterday's.

Farewell, my dear Elantra

I have come to a very painful decision. I have decided to sell my car. Not because I want to but because I don't drive it enough any more to justify the expense. And frankly I can't afford the expense. Between car payments and garage rent and insurance, it's just too much for me. It's a lovely deep red 2005 Hyundai Elantra hatchback with a 5-speed stick. They call it a 5-door but really it's a hatchback. It looks kind of like the Saab 93. For a modestly priced car it's pretty neat. But like I said, I can't keep it. It was kind of like fate because a friend of my aunt's told me he was interested in buying it before I even seriously considered selling it. So I have a ready buyer.

I have lived in the city with and without a car, and there's a whole different relationship to space and mobility. Maybe part of it is that the city is an island. Not having car always made me feel kind of stuck. Getting out was an ordeal - maybe only in my mind, but that's how it felt. The instant we got a car, suddenly I felt free, like I could go anywhere anytime. Not that I did, but that I could. I don't know why but it's always been important to me to feel like I could get out. (Some weird psychological issue perhaps?) But it's totally true that I will lose my ability for spontaneous mobility. Things are different now, though. There are zipcars. So I could use those to do take my weekend shopping jaunts. And when I want to go farther I can always rent a car. But it won't be MINE. Maybe once I do it, I'll feel relieved. I don't know. But right now I am feeling very sad. It's weird, it's like I'm grieving for a car.

I know the feeling

But if not, where am I?

It's time to stand up for Big City Values!

I don't know about the rest of you, but I have had just about enough of hearing certain candidates heaping condemnation all over big city values. Apparently only Small Town Values are worth anything these days. Well, my first problem is, I haven't heard her, oops, I mean them, explain exactly how these supposed STV's are superior - or for that matter - different from BCV's. Since nobody has answered that to my satisfaction, me and my effete, over-sophisticated, secular urban buddies and I have been trying to figure out what Big City Values are. Here's what we've come up with so far:

1) Crossing against the light and jaywalking with impugnity.

2) Teaching our children what cheeses go with what fruits.

3) Eating bagels and cream cheese on Sunday mornings.

4) Overtipping the pizza and Chinese food delivery guys.

5) Going to the movies after work on weeknights.

This is as far as we've gotten but I'm pretty darn proud of the list so far. This has got legs for sure! I'm getting ready to start the campaign in favor of Big City Values. Look out, small towns everywhere!

The French have a word for it

Basically everybody in France goes on vacation for the month of August. We all know this. But what I didn't know until today was that the coming back from vacation and starting school and going back to work is this whole big thing. They even have a word for it: rentree (with an accent over the first e). Like it looks, it means re-entry, as in re-entering the "real world". Everything starts up again. People make resolutions, like we do on New Year. There are all these articles in the magazines about it, like "How to Make Rentree as Smooth as Possible" or "The 10 Must-Haves for Rentree." Weird, huh? Well, it's only weird because we don't have anything remotely like that here in the land of "What Vacation?" How ironic that in the so-called Land of the Free, we have less free time than anybody because we're always working. Imagine a month of doing essentially nothing. So much nothing that experts make money telling people how to get their lives in gear.

This summer has been remarkable only in terms of the weather. It's been stellar. It's been one astoundingly gorgeous day after another. Unfortunately I have spent most of them in a windowless office. But I'm not going into that now. As sad as I am to see summer go, I am now counting the days until the Large Hadron Collider goes online at CERN in Geneva on September 20th.

Money...money...money

I really am tired of worrying about money. I've been doing it for way more years than I care to think about. And it always seems to happen that just when I think I'm in a pretty good position and I can save a little more, something comes up and I'm back to square one again. They promised raises at work a YEAR AGO and they still haven't come through. All of this makes me cranky and also depressing to be around. I don't want to talk about it any more.

I did indulge in a movie last weekend. I finally saw The Dark Knight. Heath Ledger was beyond spectacular. But the rest of the film -- eh. I thought it was about an hour too long. I thought that it was full of a lot of crazy pyrotechnics and fights that didn't go anywhere. I thought the plot was muddled. I thought everyone tried very hard but the story didn't know where it was going or what it wanted to say. Of course I'll watch Christian Bale in anything. I can't wait to see him as John Connor. But I have to say, I liked Batman Begins way, way better.

2008: The Year the Olympics Jumped the Shark

Color me cranky. Color me a miserable misanthrope. But I think that the Olympics have finally been totally subsumed by the onmivorous monsters Marketing and Spectacle. What does any of this have to do with athletic competition? Not a thing! And not only are the organizers of the opening ceremonies making me crazy, how about the TV commentators, who are trying to interpret everything and impute to everything some ancient and weighty meaning? AAAAaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!! Shut the fuck up already!!!!

Having my admittedly puny insight into Chinese (non)culture and (non)ideology, I know that they all go gaga over glittery spectacles with absolutely no substance. So okay, they've got a few thousand years of history to draw on, but they're doing it in such a phony, self-serving way, it's almost laughable. I think the opening ceremonies started to go downhill in 1984 in L.A., when dozens of grand pianos rose up out of the stadium floor, or something. I don't remember it too clearly. But I remember being slightly freaked out as I tried to figure out what they had to do with sports. From then on, it's been one lunatic spectacle after another. And the Chinese, being consumate experts at lunatic spectacle, have just put the icing on the freaking cake.

Okay, here's another idea. How about making the opening ceremonies a competitive event in the games? That way, every country could compete in putting on the gaudiest, showiest, most ridiculous event. I think it's a great idea. But I've been totally turned off to watching any of the actual sports events.

The most incredible news that almost was

A friend of my brother writes for some aviation publication. He gets to cover the NASA missions and space stuff. When I see him we talk about it. Yesterday my brother told me that he heard from his friend that there might be some REALLY BIG NEWS coming out of NASA within a week or two. He said that they were keeping it very tightly under wraps, but seemingly the word "diatom" was being tossed about. ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT THEY FOUND EVIDENCE OF LIFE ON MARS????????? I was beside myself with excitement. What in the world could possibly be more amazing and wonderful?

Well, it didn't take that long for it to come out. Now, I shouldn't get too disappointed because as the NASA guys say, they don't know what they have. And maybe that's their way of saying without saying. Maybe they already know it for sure but can't say until they can prove beyond a crumb of doubt. Or maybe it was just rumor that ran away with itself. But for a day, it felt like anything was possible. It may still happen. It will still happen eventually. I just really really really hope it's soon.

Kissing my baby goodbye

No, I don't mean the kid. I mean THE PLAY! I have finally started sending it out - submitting it to theatres for production. I'm not nervous and I wasn't afraid to let it go. It's just that everything takes so freaking long to get done! Everybody wants different information. Some want the whole thing, some only want ten pages. Some want a 2 paragraph synopsis, some want a 2 page synopsis. Some want a cover letter. You get the idea. Surprisingly, writing the synopsis was really difficult. But it's done. Huge sense of relief and medium-sized sense of accomplishment. Now I just have to wait. Tony Awards, here I come!

A fragile grasp on it all

Just when I think I've got a reasonable grasp on my life and things are running at least somewhat smoothly, it all goes to hell. In mere moments. Those being the moments my wayward offspring appeared at my door, big, fat suitcase in tow. This is the guy who for the last four years (give or take) has made his home in Shanghai, China. Last time he blew through town was over Christmas. Right after that he found his current girlfriend and then I hardly heard from him for weeks. But now that summer sizzles in Shanghai very much like New Orleans, he decided to bail and spend the summer here in the Northeast. There's also the part about how he's basically broke at the moment, but let's not go into that right now. It will make me mad all over again.

First let me make very clear that I am crazy about this guy. He's the smartest, funniest person I know. Spending time with him is always a hoot. But he has a very heavy footprint. He makes his presence known. He's got his own room and yet his crap has managed to cover nearly every available surface in my apartment. Shoes in the middle of the floor. Shirts on the back of the chair. Books on the dining table. Papers and notes on the kitchen counter. Towels on the sofa. You get the idea. I thought that when they grew up, I wouldn't have to deal with this kind of stuff any more. Oh no! Apparently it never ends.

So not only has he disrupted my tidy home, he's also up-ended my concentration, my schedule, basically my life. I can't use my computer when I want, and even if I can, I'm too distracted. I keep buying groceries and they keep disappearing. And I don't even want to talk about the bathroom!

I suppose it's my own fault. I kept telling him that he should spend more time here. Well, hell -- I missed him! Now that he's here, I'm looking forward to September when he packs up and goes home to China. Then at last I'll be able to clean my house and have it stay that way for more than a minute and a half.

What I learned on my road trip

1. It is close to impossible to get cell phone service in Vermont. The people who live there make jokes about it all the time. Like, "if you got up on your roof and wave your phone around, you might get a signal." Stuff like that. It's really spotty and unreliable. And your phone battery runs down really quickly because the phone is always searching for a signal. It's just better to turn it off and go cold turkey.

2. Bees in Vermont act like crazy pollen addicts. Maybe it's the flowers I saw, but the bees were going absolutely bonkers. They were literally rolling in the pollen. They were all having little bee orgasms of pollen ecstasy. I have never seen anything like it. We stood right next to them and watched for about 10 or 15 minutes.

3. Mosquitoes in Washington DC are on steroids. I was sitting in my brother's little back yard one evening and the next day I had about 20 bites on my feet and ankles. By that night, my ankles were all swelled up. Then I remembered the same thing happened to me last year in the same circumstance. I guess I also learned that I don't remember the things I should. Next time, DEET.

4. It is become financially unviable to do this sort of thing. I get fairly okay mileage (33 mpg on the highway) but even so, between Washington and Vermont, I spent probably close to $130 on gas.

And finally, this is not technically road trip related, but...if you haven't seen WALL-E yet, run right out and do so. It is just hyper-cute, in the best possible way. Even the crankiest misanthrope I know loved this film.

This sounds so cool, I might have to try

I came across a call for entries in a playwriting contest a while ago for plays about science. There's even a cash prize for the best one -- $10,000! Not too shabby, right?

Given that it took me several years of start-stop work to finish the one I have, it's doubtful I'll be able to complete this in time for the deadline, which is December 15. But I think I'm going to give it some serious consideration. Now all I need is a subject. Keep in mind I am not a scientist. I wasn't even especially good at it in high school or college. But I reallly like it. And I'm pretty good at taking new information and making it sound like I know what I'm talking about.

So far the one idea I had for a subject is from an exhibit I like a lot at the planetarium, the relative sizes of stuff, comparing it all by powers of 10, from the visible universe to a proton. I wrote a post about this a while back. How I'm going to expand it into 60-90 minutes I don't know. But that $10,000 sounds pretty attractive. I'll keep you all posted on my progress or lack thereof (which is the more likely outcome).